I’m crying from laughing

Bwhahahaha!

The elusive perfect Facebook pic

I spent an hour at work trying to get the “perfect” Facebook pic. Then it dawned on me. I’m not photogenic! I’m much cuter IRL then I am in pictures. I even had my co-workers help me with this and they agreed. I just can’t get the cute, pouting, looking up at the camera look together.

How is it fugly trolls can pull off a hot looking picture from one view, but I can’t? I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures I’m talking about. You see their profile pic and they look smoking hot, then you see their candid pics and they look like MiMi from the Drew Carey Show.

Ugh

Venting about vampires

Enough already! Enough with the vampires. It seems every network now wants their own vampire show to cash into the Twilight phenomenon.

What their getting is that Twilight isn’t popular because it’s about vampires. It’s popular because it’s a cheesy love story. Women want cheesy love stories. We don’t care if the man is a vampire, a werewolf, or a hobbit for God’s sake.

When I read Twilight I only thought about Edward being a vampire because it was mentioned 8 million times by the author. To me he was a just a boy(who happed to be able to read minds, LOL) in love with a girl.

That’s what we want, not more vampires.

But if they’re shirtless and hot I’ll watch it.

Shoes

Thing 1 decided to tell me today that I had a lot of shoes.

He then asked me where I got them and if “Jesus, God and Santa” got them for me.

Why yes, they did.

I burnt the roof of my mouth on a potato skin

Doesn’t that sound like it came from one of those Facebook games? Where you use you initials to make up a weird story.

But no. It happened to me. Today.

And it still hurts.

On a happy note, I got my fancy schmancy iPhone! Now I am offically cool. That, or the iPhone is now officially not cool. I’m not sure which one is true.

Happy Sane Patricks’s Day!

Today I was telling Thing 1 he had to wear green today. I told him it was St. Patrick’s day and that we all had to wear green.

He went upstairs to get a green shirt.

When he came back he announced he had his green shirt on for “Sane Patrick’s Day”.

Then he asked if that means tomorrow is “Sane Spongebob Day”. At 1st I was lost, then I got it. Patrick and Spongebob! He then asked if he needs to wear yellow tomorrow for “Sane Spongebob Day”

So happy Sane Partick day to you all!

Thing 2 is a carb loader

He would totally fail on the Atkins diet.

Seriously, all this kids wants to eat is carbs. Bread, pasta, oatmeal, etc.

But when he does decide he wants to eat something, all bets are off. He really likes those gerber meals, but he can polish one off in a few minutes. I hide the side of veggies in the main meal so he will eat them. Sneaky mommy!

I’m so over planning our Disney trip

I would love to be able to do it online, but I can’t. So I called their number today to get my questions answered and price it out.

I talk to the girl on the phone and tell her what I want. I tell her I want the dining plan with the 3 meals. She tells me that is the “Platinum” package and rambles off these other things included in that. I say, Ok. She comes back with some astronomical price!

After I get off the phone with her, I go back online to look up these packages. I didn’t want the damn Platinum package. I want the Deluxe Dining package. The Platinum has all the hoity toity crap added to it. Crap I would never need. Like seeing a Cirque De Sole show. I’m sure my 1 year old would love that.

So now I have to call them back, again. Argh!

Kids are going to kill me

I almost didn’t blog about this, because it upset me so much. But as I’ve talked about it more, I’ve gotten better about it.

Yesterday I went to wake Thing 2 up from his nap. I walk into his room and he’s laying in the crib on his belly with his eyes wide open staring at me. I assume he’s awake, so from the door I say his name.

Nothing. He’s just staring.

Now I scream his name.

Nothing.

By this point my heart is pounding, I want to throw up and I’m leaping across the room to him. I grab him and jerk him out of bed. He wakes up and looks at me like I’m an freak.

He was sleeping with his eyes open! But I swear do you it looked like the worst thing I can imagine. I can’t even type what it looked like, but you know.

Kids, they will be the death of us.

Analogies: the Madagascar 2 version

Thing 1 comes out of the bathroom this morning. He tells me out of no where “Moto Moto from Madagascar is HUGE”

Now, this is Moto Moto for those of you who haven’t seen Madagascar 2 yet.

I agree with him and tell him he is huge. Not knowing where this could possibly be leading.

Then I find out. He walks away and casually says “My poop was like Moto Moto”.

Nice!