I am so forgetfull

I wish they had a pill I could take for it, but I’d forget to take it.

Last night we sit down to eat dinner. The hubby looks at me and says “what time is your thing”. I stare blankly at him. Then is hits me! I signed up for a meeting at our church about medical missions. And it’s in 30 minutes!

Ack! I really want to go to this. So I slam down 1/2 an enchilada (luckily I can eat as fast as those hot dog eating people on TV. Honest to God, it’s a sight to see), get dressed (I managed to get chinese on my pants at lunch), brush my teeth and head out the door.

I get there and guess what? The 1st hour of the meeting is a dinner. Sa-weet! There foor is much better than the enchilada I didn’t even taste.

So now I’m stoked. I really want to start doing medical missions. I’m going to do some local ones 1st before I jump into anything longer, just to make sure I like it. Plus, I have no passport. How lame am I that I’m 31 and don’t have a passport? Don’t answer that.

You had to be here

I wish you could have seen the temper tantrum Thing 2 just threw. It involved throwing himself on the kitchen floor and pushing himslef back wards on the fllor until he ran into the fridge. He then walked over to me, grabbed my legs and started it all over again.

Thing 1 never did this crap.

It’s going to be a long 17 years.

I really need to start drinking.

I just can’t get motivated

I’m sitting here with 20 things I need to do and just can’t get off my arse.

I need to: hang some pictures, paint the kids desk, join a gym, go shopping for stuff for the top of the TV thingy, clean the house, and so on.

Yet here I sit.

Eating cheese sandwich mini Ritz. At 8:30am

Ding! We have a winner!

Thing 1 was playing the Wii Fit today. He was trying to do the ski jump, which he has never done before. He was not doing well and kept crashing. Then I heard this from the living room:

“What the hell am I doing?!”

So I call the hubby at work. I ask him if he ever says the above phrase. At 1st he denies it. Upon pressing him more, he confesses that “It sould like something I would say while playing the Wii”

Bingo!

He then swore he would watch his mouth from now on while playing. And Thing 1 now knows not to say it either.

I’d like to thank my husband

I’ve always been careful around Thing 1 about what I say. I don’t curse (well, except the “Twatwaffle” slip) around him. I don’t talk about anything having to do with childbirth. He gasped at the hospital when he learned Thing 2 would be eating my boob. So it was enough for him to know he and Thing 2 came out of my belly.

Well last week I go to TJMaxx. Suddenly Thing 1 yells out “Did you push Thing 2 out of your pagina” in his loudest voice. I come to a screeching halt in the store. “What do you mean? Who told you that” I ask.

Thing 1 replies “Daddy. He told me you pushed Thing 2 out of your pagina. Did you”.

WTF!?

Why did my husband thing a 4 year old needs to know about that. I was so pissed at him. Thankfully Thing 1 seems to have forgotten all about it. For now.

I feel motion sick watching this

Wingsuit base jumping

PS- I hate trying to add video to wordpress.

Hot, naked men!!!

So babycenter added a new feature. If you are a member of a group, your mosr recent blog entries will show up on the side bar of that group.

I dare people not to click that totle when they see it!

Wanna guess how many blog hits I will get today as a result of it?

Inside the mind of a 4 year old

My son lives Playhouse Disney. He’s not a fan of The Happy Monster Band but he likes the rest. His new favorite is the Imagination Movers.

Last week we were eating lunch and I must have been humming on of their songs. Sad, I know, but that’s not the story.

Well, out of no where Thing 1 decided he needs to tell me that he likes Rich, Dave and Warehouse Mouse. But that he does not like Scott or Smitty. Ok, that was random. He doesn’t like Smitty’s hat or Scott’s goggles. But he does like the talking mouse.

You do what?!?

Apparently the youngsters are crazy these days.

One of my friends at work thinks he’s 20. He’s really 30 but he acts like he’s 21. So we’re all talking about random crap and he busts out with “Yeah, like when your drunk and you tuck your junk between you legs and jump out naked and scare your friends”. To which every other man in the room says “WTF are you talking about”. He goes on to insist that it’s a perfectly normal thing to do while drunk. My other friend says no it’s not and that he’s never jumped out naked around his friends. So the guy asks another co-worker who is in his 20’s.

The other co-worker agrees that this is common place. Then the both of them go on to tell us that this act has a name. It’s called a “mangina”. And apparently it is a fun thing to do to your friends when you are all drunk. I suggested my other co-worker try this out they next time the all go on a fishing trip. He declined, but I think I saw a spark of interest in his eyes.

Yep. I can’t make this shit up.

If you’re really bored, google images “mangina”. There is a nice example on page 2. You can thank me later.

I’m 31 years old

and I can’t peel an orange.

Seriously, I can’t.

See, I hate oranges.  I hate the taste, hate the texture, hate everything about them. Since I don’t like them, I have never learned how to peel them.

Well, not Thing 1 is in love with oranges. I normally buy them and they sit there until the hubby peels them for me. But today Thing 1 wanted one as a snack. What ” could I do? Tell him “no, go eat a candy bar” instead? So I had to try to peel an orange.

I gave up trying to break through that damn skin my my fingers and grabbed a knife. I made a cut in the top (?) and tried to pull the peel off. No dice. I made a cut in the bottom (?) and tried from that way. Nope, not happening. So I cut the damn thing in half and try to peel the fucker. Still not happening.

Now I getting annoyed and I’m touching yucky orange! So I grab the thing and start ripping out pieces of the insides (pulp?). I’m finally able to get a few chunks out so Thing 1 can eat it. All this time, he is looking at me like I’m an idiot saying “daddy can peel an orange real fast”.

I swear I should have taked a picture of it. It looked like I gave it to Helen Keller to peel. Although, I bet she would have done a much better job.