Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty hard core in my backing of my party. I’m just over this whole thing already. The democratic primaries are going on forevah! By the time the election gets here I’m going to be ready to eat a gun. Just pick someone! I think our whole way of electing needs to be revamped. And while we’re at it, all of Washington needs an overhaul. Too much wasteful spending and taxing.
Wanna know what was a good election? The “vote for the new color M&M”. I really wanted purple to win. Had it not been for the Skittles sex scandal, I think she would have had a chance. Purple is regal. It’s the color of royalty. It was really purple’s race to lose, and it did.
Mission: Get Thing 2 to Sleep, has been a failure.
I decided last night maybe he wasn’t sleeping all night because he heard me and DH at night and that woke him up. So I moved him into his room last night. It is upstairs so I slept in the guest room. Walking up and down steps in a sleep induced haze is just asking for a broken neck.
So I keep him up later and put him to bed. Go to sleep around 11p. 12:30am he wakes!
NOOOOO!!!!!! This was not suppose to happen! This was going to be my saving grace and it failed. Miserably.
Now I’m back at square one. Sleepy, annoyed, and smelling of baby puke. That’s me!
Q: We’ve been TTC for 6 months now with no success. I know DH has an orgasm each time. And I have one too. Infact I never don’t have an orgasm when we have anal sex. Why aren’t we pregnant?
A: Really? Really?! I think this time there gene pool is lucky you can’t conceive. Get a puppy instead.
Q: I’m 6 months pregnant. My BFF told me I can’t swallow when I preform oral sex. Is she correct?
A: Yes! 100% correct. How do you think twins happen.
Q: I’ve been checking my temperature every morning, checking my cervical mucus, and using ovulation kits. What else can I do to get pregnant?
A: Have sex?
Q: I have 3 boys and I really want a girl this time. What can I do?
A: After sex, jump on your left foot. Your LEFT foot. While jumping, make a large circle with your right arm. Cross your eyes and sing “O.P.P” while doing this. Send me a video of you doing this and I promise you will have a girl.
Q: According to my chart, I ovulated 2 days ago. Is it too early to test?
A: Hell no. Start testing now, and test everyday! Heck, 5 times a day to be sure! Did I mention I work for EPT?
Ok, remember the cloth diapers? Dh wanted me to use them with Thing 2 and I was considering it just in hopes that it would finally be the death of my old washer? Well, the dryer died last week! So I convinced DH we needed a new washer too!! SCORE!
Well there is no way in hell I’m putting crappy diapers in my new precious! So not only do I have to mess with the cloth this time, but I got a fancy new front loader. Yippee!
Thing 1 has learned a new trick. When we say something he doesn’t agree with he throws his hands up and says “are you kidding me?!”. It’s like I’m looking at a 4yr old version of my husband.
Sunday we took the kidlets to Six Flags. Hubby stayed with Thing 2 and I took Thing 1 on the car ride. You know the ride, the one where the kid “drives” the car and the car is on the metal rail so he can’t kill us all in a fit of rage.
So we’re in the car and I show Thing 1 that my side has a horn. He reaches over and starts honking the horn. He honks it again and yells “Get out of my way!” followed by “Move it lady!”
I’m so proud!! I’m a little disappointed that he didn’t flip the bird while yelling, but he is just a child, I can’t expect perfection…. yet.
Sorry I’ve been MIA. MIL was visiting and the oldest Thing had his birthday so I’ve been uber busy. Plus the internet Nazi, my husband, was off work and standing over me saying “what are you doing. Are you on the computer again. Come downstairs” Argh!
So, Thing 1 turned 4 and got what he wanted. Tons of Transformers. Now I like Transformers, they are fun and much better then the 100+ Cars we have scattered around the house (so I had a Cars obsession, kill me). Except Cars just sit there. There is no mechanics involved. Not so with Transformers. I have to do something with these. If I have to turn Bumblebee into a car again right after I turned him into a robot I may just go nuts. As I type this Thing 1 is sobbing something about Ratchet because his “wheels are in”. Oh, and now he just stormed into his room and slammed the door because I called it an ambulance and it’s “not an ambulance it a TRUCK!” No fool, it says right on the side AMBULANCE.
Is 9:30 too early to drink? A mimosa would be considered a morning drink, correct?
I swear to Bob that cleaning products hate me. The product can swear up and down it will do something, work for everyone else, yet when I buy it it won’t work. For example, the shower cleaner. I scrub that damn thing with some toxic shit and it still isn’t spotless.
And now today I go out to buy grout cleaner. I’ve scrubbed that damn grout till my fingers bleed. My step dad told me I have to buy acidic grout cleaner. So I go out today to buy it. Follow the directions and scrub. No damn change. I even put the cleaner on full strength and nothing!
See, my step Aunt is coming out this weekend and she’ll be the 1st person besides our parents to see our house and I want it spotless. Then my MIL is coming out in one week, again I want it spotless!!
Posted by thevirtualvoyeur 
Posted by thevirtualvoyeur 
Posted by thevirtualvoyeur 
