Things I am thankful for

1. That the hubby likes mint chocolate chip ice cream. Because I hate it. So I can buy it for him and not feel tempted at all to eat a bite of it.

2. Cheez-It Duoz in sharp cheddar/Parmesan. OMG they are good.

3. That our medicine cabinets don’t have mirrors on them. Because if you have one with a mirror on it, shit like this happens:

Random links I have enjoyed today

Most of these are NSFW, but enjoy!

http://www.mykarmasutrabuddy.com/index.php

I’ve decided I am old. Now turn down that crap you call music

I’ve browsing youtube today and somehow started searching for old Disney songs. Remember when Disney had goos songs to go along with their movies? I remember having the Lion King soundtrack in high school. It was on the radio all the time. Those were the good ole days. I try to think about more recent Disney movies and what good songs they have. I can’t come up with any.

So why do they suck so bad now? Why do they have to resort to just covering old songs (Cars, “Life is a Highway” comes to mind).

Is it really too hard to make a good song for a movie? Is it too much trouble? Or am I just an old crotchety woman who needs to shut up and turn down her hearing aid?

I’ll let you ponder that while listening to this song:

Vacations stress me out

When did planning  a vaction become a chore itself? I thought the Disney vactaion we had this winter was hard to plan, but I was wrong.

I convinced the hubby that this year (our 10 yr anniversary) we needed to go on a vacation to Sandals. So now I’m up to my eyeballs with trying to decide which resort to go to. Ack! I decide on one, then realize another has a better variety of food. I love to eat. I’m an obese person waiting to break free deep down. So I decide on that one, then find out it doesn’t have a golf course. It the reviews on yahoo slam it. Or it just doesn’t look pretty enough for me.

O.M.G!! I need a vaction from my vacation planning.

Am I the only person out here who obsesses over the deatils like this? Does a normal person just say “Hey, let’s go to Sandals. How about the St. Lucia one.” and be done with it?

Even wordpress is mocking me!

I live in Texas. Because of that , I expect a few things:

1. Good Mexican food

2. Margaritas at 7 am

3. Hot weather

So explain to me why we have a 60% chance of SNOW today! SNOW!! And tonight the low is in the 20′s. This is just not right.

But then today I log into wordpress to share my wisdom with you all and wordpress has added snow to their site! As I log in, they have snow “falling” all over the page.

It’s on wordpress…. it’s on!

Unsolicited advice for celebrities

When you decided to have an affair, and let’s face it you all do, you need to realize a few things.

1. When picking the person you are going sleep with, never pick a person who has been on a reality TV show. What part of  “attention seeker” don’t you get. They will throw your ass under the bus in the time it takes them to dial “US Weekly”. Case in point; Tiger Woods. Seriously Tiger? She was on VH1′s “Tool Academy” for God’s sake! I hope your wife did beat you with a golf club because you potentially infected her with every STD known to man (and likely some not known).

2. When said affair comes out, just own it. We’re tired of you emphatically denying it then weeks later pictures and emails come out proving it. Then you look like a bigger douche when it gets proven. Exhibit: John Edwards and his love child.

3. When the affair does come out, please stop prancing around in public with your spouse like nothing is wrong. We know when you go back in your house she tells you to fuck off and you sleep in the guest room while her attorney takes you for all you have. Go out alone and look remorseful.  It’s the least you could do you lying bastard.  Example Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt walking on the beach while he was boning Angelina.

So there you go.

Sitting in the movie theater

Waiting for New Moon to start!!! 5 more
Minutes!!!

Yeah, thanks for that

The past 2 weeks at school, Thing 1 has been learning about the Native Americans. Last week he was to bring in a white tshirt with the arms and bottom cut like fringe so they could do something with it. And I don’t think it was an “ode to the 80′s bad fashion”

So I asked the hubby to cut the fringe on Thing 1′s shirt for me sice I was working.

OMG! Big mistake. The poor kids shirt looks like it was mauled by a freaking bear! How hard is it to cut some fringe? I wish I had taken a picture of it for you. If the shirt ever comes home from school and whatever project it is I will take a picture of the “fringe”.

My poor child

OMG I almost forgot

Glee is on tonight! I would have been pissed if I forgot that.

 

I almost snatched someone bald at work

So I work with this girl about once a week. We’ll call her “Maureen” since her name is Maureen.

Sunday I’m sitting there and she says “Have you put on weight”. Now I have, but it happened months ago and it’s slowly coming off now so this is not a new thing. So I glare at her and I tell her” no”.

She replies back, “No, you have. I can see it in your face”

WTF? Who says shit like that? A total bitch, that’s who. And she totally did it on purpose because no one likes her since she is a lazy bitch who complains non-stop.

I felt like saying “Hey Maureen. Have you gotten uglier? You have. I can tell cause your face looks uglier”. But I didn’t.Yeah me for being the adult