Even wordpress is mocking me!

I live in Texas. Because of that , I expect a few things:

1. Good Mexican food

2. Margaritas at 7 am

3. Hot weather

So explain to me why we have a 60% chance of SNOW today! SNOW!! And tonight the low is in the 20’s. This is just not right.

But then today I log into wordpress to share my wisdom with you all and wordpress has added snow to their site! As I log in, they have snow “falling” all over the page.

It’s on wordpress…. it’s on!

Unsolicited advice for celebrities

When you decided to have an affair, and let’s face it you all do, you need to realize a few things.

1. When picking the person you are going sleep with, never pick a person who has been on a reality TV show. What part of  “attention seeker” don’t you get. They will throw your ass under the bus in the time it takes them to dial “US Weekly”. Case in point; Tiger Woods. Seriously Tiger? She was on VH1’s “Tool Academy” for God’s sake! I hope your wife did beat you with a golf club because you potentially infected her with every STD known to man (and likely some not known).

2. When said affair comes out, just own it. We’re tired of you emphatically denying it then weeks later pictures and emails come out proving it. Then you look like a bigger douche when it gets proven. Exhibit: John Edwards and his love child.

3. When the affair does come out, please stop prancing around in public with your spouse like nothing is wrong. We know when you go back in your house she tells you to fuck off and you sleep in the guest room while her attorney takes you for all you have. Go out alone and look remorseful.  It’s the least you could do you lying bastard.  Example Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt walking on the beach while he was boning Angelina.

So there you go.

Sitting in the movie theater

Waiting for New Moon to start!!! 5 more
Minutes!!!

Yeah, thanks for that

The past 2 weeks at school, Thing 1 has been learning about the Native Americans. Last week he was to bring in a white tshirt with the arms and bottom cut like fringe so they could do something with it. And I don’t think it was an “ode to the 80’s bad fashion”

So I asked the hubby to cut the fringe on Thing 1’s shirt for me sice I was working.

OMG! Big mistake. The poor kids shirt looks like it was mauled by a freaking bear! How hard is it to cut some fringe? I wish I had taken a picture of it for you. If the shirt ever comes home from school and whatever project it is I will take a picture of the “fringe”.

My poor child

OMG I almost forgot

Glee is on tonight! I would have been pissed if I forgot that.

 

I almost snatched someone bald at work

So I work with this girl about once a week. We’ll call her “Maureen” since her name is Maureen.

Sunday I’m sitting there and she says “Have you put on weight”. Now I have, but it happened months ago and it’s slowly coming off now so this is not a new thing. So I glare at her and I tell her” no”.

She replies back, “No, you have. I can see it in your face”

WTF? Who says shit like that? A total bitch, that’s who. And she totally did it on purpose because no one likes her since she is a lazy bitch who complains non-stop.

I felt like saying “Hey Maureen. Have you gotten uglier? You have. I can tell cause your face looks uglier”. But I didn’t.Yeah me for being the adult

 

Thing #846 that drives me crazy

Whenever I wear mascara, my eyelashes hit my sun glasses. It drives me up a freaking wall. I would go nuts if I had to wear glasses all the time.  I have seriously considered cutting my eyelashes before to stop them from touching. *shudder*

Add this to my list of neurosis.

Did you know you can blog from your phone?

Yeah, I’ve never tried it either. But that’s what I’m doing right now.

It’s almost 4am. I’m bored as fuck. I have nothing fun to talk about. Nothing cool going on in my life today. Nothing… nothing… nothing!!

Hmmm… how do I publish this entry now?

Anxiety… fear… nausea

What could cause all these feelings at once?

My iPhone wouldn’t connect to the internet this morning!

I have no idea what the problem was, but for about 2 hours it wouldn’t connect to the 3G network. And I was in the middle of reading a great Twilight FanFiction story. And it didn’t even have any smut! At least, not yet.

But my fears have subsided now, as my phone it back online. Whew! That was a close one. I had to take a couple nitro to relieve the chest pain.

 

I have joined the ranks of the crazies

I’m sure there are people out there that would argue that I have crossed this path many moons ago, but I think today has put me over the edge.

I was at the store and got a pair or fingerless mittens. Why? Because they look so cute here:

Yes, I got something because I saw in in Twilight (or in this case New Moon).

I guess the next step is to fly to where they are filming the next movie and stalk the cast. Maybe get a Twilight tattoo?  I suppose I should have another child so I can name him Edward or Jasper or Emmett.